Coupling up so soon?

Wow, that was fast. First, they yank them out of bed and force them to make clothes out of their underpants, then they have to spin clothes out of dog food and now they're forced into an arranged design marriage? Sewer? I hardly know her! [sorry].

Actually, I was pretty amazed at the top 3. Anthony Ryan and Laura Kathleen are a two-name dream team. I could not see where Danielle and Cecilia were going at first, but the end result was amaze. Did you check out the back of the shirt? Love it. The styling killed them - so much so that I was kind of surprised they made it to the top. More surprising, though, was Becky and Kimberly's ability to pull it together. Becky is definitely the owner of some questionable design judgement but the proportions could not have been better. Seriously, if you are hung up on the one-sided collar, go back and watch their model walk onto the runway for the first time. It works. And if you still can't see why it matters, go back and watch Josh M and Julie's matadorian nightmare. Those legs freak.me.out.

As for the race to the bottom, I can see why Fallene had to go but Bryce had better appreciate his part in that Black Swan bad acid trip mess or he will be shown the door shortly. Oh, and Bert, check the bitter old queen act and welcome yourself to the current decade so we can be friends again.

Why is she going there... in that?

Since I'm speed racing through the recaps, let me break this one down for you Microsoft Office style:

• unconventional challenge = trainwreck
• hamster bedding > wee wee pads
• birdseed glued on muslin = looks like beading, even if it really doesn't
• While I don't condone the latest craze of weaving feathers in your hair, if you must fasten feathers onto your person, that is a more appropriate vehicle for them than your eyebrows.
• Anthony Ryan is very talented but has a serious case of catty eye
• DO NOT BORE NINA or any of the other judges. This is mortal sin number one this season.

Getting up to speed

It's been a shaky start to this season here at Don't Bore Nina HQ. A few [brilliantly timed] trips to the hottest parts of the country during the hottest weeks of the year happened to coincide with the return of our beloved fashion show and threw me off schedule. As it turns out, upon my return I further discovered that I'm more apt to accept an invitation for margaritas on the patio over streaming Lifetime television shows, and for that, I half-heartedly apologize. But now that I'm caught up, let's try a quick recap, shall we?

The excitement begins in our season opener with the First-time-ever-we've-invited-50-people-on-the show-but-only-20-will-survive episode! I was expecting a bloodbath and got nary a splatter. There wasn't enough time to care who didn't make it to the actual show, regardless of their attempts at manipulation via a postponed Icelandic wedding. Girl was getting married either way. In Iceland.

Still, there were some curious choices for who made it as evidenced by Rafael's brief stay with us. Three-quarters of the way into the show I started getting this nagging feeling that things are a little off this year. My first clue should have been the inclusion of Michael and Nina in the opening credits/scene. Don't pander, Nina. It's so beneath you. But there also seems to be some new backroom agreement regarding judging this season where boring trumps poor tailoring or just plain ugly. It becomes more apparent in Episode 3 and Rafael just happened to hit the trifecta with his design in the opener, but tell me I'm wrong about this. Does the judging not seem a little strange?

Well, hello darlings

It's been too long, my friends. Adventures have been had, unions have been formed, buns have left some ovens and a few of us went on some crappy dates. But all is about to be right with the world again because our Project Runway pals are back Thursday, July 28th at 9pm (can I dare to dream that Lifetime has used this time to upgrade their streaming capabilities?).

Take a looksie here and get to know what's in store. Apparently there are twenty designers this year which I can only hope results in a spectacular bloodbath the first episode.

For those of you in the Fantasy League, the scoring remains the same as last year. You can click here to review the rules. Remember, the first episode is for us to get to know the designers. We'll start choosing our top 3 the following week.

Que les jeux commencent!

Good grief

Wow. Just... wow. Or in the words of the Rickshaw Restaurant and Lounge marquee: "wow" (see the blog of unnecessary quotes). I heard all the arguments, and while I get where Nina and Michael were coming from, I just don't agree. I also advise you all to run to your favorite stores and stock up on the cute and complimentary because we are apparently in for a few years of terrible, awful sportswear (and just when I was getting excited for all those t-strap shoes and pencil skirts).

There were so many things wrong with this finale but the glaringly obvious was the inclusion of Jessica Simpson as guest judge. The woman has never been, nor ever will be, a fashion icon. Granted, I've seen a branded shoe or two of hers that I like, but only in that "here is a nice, basic black shoe" kind of way. She is the personification of mall chic, with a tragic habit of dressing to make herself appear bigger than she actually is. How do these traits suggest the last word on fashion? Answer: they don't. But thanks for sticking up for Mondo.

I think we can all agree that Andy's clothes were beautiful. I was surprised by how much I liked them, given his penchant for a little kookier, a lot more skin-baring designs. Sadly for him, this seemed to have killed him and I can't really blame the judges for it. While I liked them more than his normal stuff, he should have stayed truer to his kooky self.

Mondo, on the other hand, stayed too true to his vision. I don't disagree that he could stand some editing (those hair pieces were totally unnecessary, bordering on distracting), but I still feel he got robbed. Heidi was right to point out it felt like punishing him for continuing with a style they'd been praising him for all season. But I felt the nail in the coffin when Nina equated Mondo's collection to Seth Aaron's winning show last season. And there we have it. The judges didn't want to repeat themselves and so deemed Gretchen's easy breezy "sportswear" the look of our times. Which means Jon Stewart was wrong: these actually are end times.

So that's it. I don't even want to think about Gretchen's collection anymore, let alone write about it. And I definitely don't want to see it again. Ever. I'll be cancelling my fashion magazine subscriptions for a year or two and investigating other options for inspiration. Maybe I'll give Circus Monthly a try.

Kudos to Susan for taking the Vegas odds and winning this season's pool. Thanks to everyone for playing!

I didn't see that coming

Well, we got it. Our first bonafide Project Runway meltdown. Totally did not see that coming and I still feel part horrified, part sorry for him and part "it's time to grow the F up, Michael C." Not exactly conducive for the It Gets Better project. Parents, love your children for who they are and people, stand up for yourselves. Now that that's out the way...

Did anyone catch the preview for Bryant Park judging where Heidi says this was their hardest decision in Project Runway history? She means because they are all terrible, right? Because I cannot see how these garments are going to become magically amazing with some new tights and chic baubles (and less some crazy head pieces, I hope). Mondo is, of course, impeccable with his tailoring and amazing with the prints, but at this point I can't really be wowed by the same dress. I'd still wear everything, but we know what we're going to see. Of course, I still want to see it, especially after seeing his work studio and inspiration. And how funny was the story of his dad extorting softball out of him for piano lessons?

I'm honestly torn between Andy and Gretchen. I can't stand Gretchen's aesthetic. At. All. But she's got a point of view, that's for sure. And Nina loves herself a point of view. I don't think I would hate some of the designs so much if they weren't in such a horrible print or drab earth tone. But it's hard for me to see past either of those things. But congrats on making yourself more human, lady. Nothing humbles you like being dumped and kudos to her for even getting out of bed, let alone creating a whole collection that at least she likes.

Andy, on the other hand, has lots of vision but only gets it right half the time. His last challenge dress was amaze, if a bit on the short side. Then again, I am aged way beyond that skirt length and possibly just jealous. But the swimsuit and flowy thing? What was that? It didn't even look tailored. Just a flowy sheer fabric with a hole cut out. In fact, I think I made that outfit when I was five out of my mom's old lingerie and some scissors (long sheer robes were chic and plentiful in the 70's, if you recall, and five year olds just love to cut things to make them "prettier". Just ask my Barbies how much they loved their new haircuts.). He's got vision and is terribly sweet, but I feel like he needs a few years under his belt.

Now on to Bryant Park...

Does anyone have an extra tissue?

Can I just say how much I love Mondo?! After a well deserved third win in a row he has shown time after time just how talented (and inspiring) he really is. This week’s episode was an emotional one, with an enormous revelation from Mondo, tears from nearly everyone, and visits from family that left Andy feeling completely directionless and Christopher channeling his inner Casanova with a demure snoozefest.

Hats off to the judges for finally giving the designers a good surprise – a day to spend with their visitors! After weeks of surprise twists from the ominous little black bag, that had to feel great for them. Too bad it knocked a few of them off their game.

What on earth was up with Heidi’s disco ball dress? She’s been dabbling in some pretty random looks this season, and I think it may be time to fire her stylist. I just can’t take her comments in judging seriously when she’s dressed like an exploding container of multicolored glitter or sporting a gigantic rose on the top of her head.

This week’s runway judging was pretty tame in comparison to the past few weeks, although I did enjoy Michael Kors’ “fried egg boob” comment for Gretchen. So glad she clarified that the half circle on the pants is the shape of a bonnet. Before that point I thought maybe sun bonnets were square or triangular. I have to ask, did no one really see the similarities between April’s and Valerie’s skirts? Was it just me? The top of April’s dress was vastly superior to Valerie’s, but still. And call me sentimental, but I had to smile at Valerie’s lovefest at the end of the episode. It was clearly her time to leave, though. She’s a sweet person, but her design skills just aren’t up to Project Runway standards.

The next episode is guaranteed to be interesting with Heidi as the client. And I can’t wait to know more about the cheating drama!