"The Emperor's New Clothes" approach

Hey guys! Project Runway sure is intent on pushing their limits. So many firsts! First time designers have had to share models. First time a band has played on the runway stage. It should have also been the first time no one won a challenge. Good lord, this challenge was doomed from the start. Here's a hint, if the challenge involves a sponsor/partner, things aren't going to go well. If it involves two partners, we are headed toward Trouble City. If it involves two partners that includes winners of a separate contest, you might as well turn off the tv and pick up that book you've been meaning to read. Or leave the tv on while you re-organize your makeup drawer or make a list of all the things you would buy if you won the lottery ("He who is best prepared can best serve his moment of inspiration"- Samuel Taylor Coleridge). It's up to you. Just don't expect an episode that you're happy you sat through. Make sure you accomplished something during the hour.

There's really not much to say about the designs. They were all terrible. Terrible. But the producers counted on that and that is what upsets me the most.

Dear Project Runway producers,

There seems to be a misunderstanding between what you think your viewers want and reality. Let me clue you in. We want to see designers make clothes. We want the clothes to be good. I understand that most reality TV is successful thanks to a series of manufactured train wrecks. But like Tim Gunn, we want to see everyone do their best and judge the results based on each designer's ingenuity and skill. I find no satisfaction from asking people to dig their own grave. Please stop it.

No, really. Stop it.

Yours for not much longer,

anonymous internet lady blogger

I'm not even going to bother talking about the band. OK, maybe just for a second. Blech. Done.

From the get-go, I was feeling bad for whoever was going to be sent home for this challenge. But then Olivier had to be so rude and suddenly I didn't feel so bad anymore. Seriously, I cannot figure that kid out. Is it immaturity? Asperger's? Or just a blatant disregard for reality?

Good for my Viktor, once again tailoring a perfectly mediocre ensemble. Josh managed to bedazzle a hippie. We finally saw Anya is not perfect. And let's consider this, shall we: Bert is still here. Huh.

Those boobs to me are trouble

Poor Olivier. He can't stand it that a woman has the audacity to not only have breasts but has to go and speak too. Can the little fella catch a break? He just wants to live his life exploring every shade of beige at a very slow pace so he can design for 1% of the general population. The hapless elf is going to have a doozy of a time next week when he has to dress *gasp* a man.

I also find myself tiring of Laura Kathleen's designs. She is just good enough to get by - and yes, I understand her client wanted to look like a Barbie, but it still looked very Laura Kathleen. Which is to say, Laura Kathleen is very good at making Barbie clothes.

Bert has got to go soon. He may be limiting his passive aggressive selective short-term memory comments, but he won't step out of his game and his game already has a name. It's called Ann Taylor Loft. ZING!

As for Bryce, was there really any question that he would be next to go? I actually liked the pockets, or beer holders, if you will (thanks for the tip Michael Kors!). And the color worked really well on his client. But oh the fit. What exactly is the HTML emoticon for sighing and shaking your head in frustrated disbelief? Insert that here. You were a good sport, young sir. Best of luck to you in your self-imposed sketching exile.

On to the top designers...


Josh M, you lucky devil. Of all the designers this year, he is the only one to have won two challenges? His restraint was indeed remarkable and should be a great lesson in client relations and artistic editing. But I will bet you a Seattle tunnel no lesson has actually been learned. Girl would bedazzle a sequin dress given the opportunity. Don't get me wrong - his dress was beautiful. But I felt like his win was a reward more for what he didn't do than what he did.

That said, I didn't love Anya's dress. It was that waist detail that was particularly bothersome. I spent most of the episode trying to decide if it was a top with fringe hanging off of it or an unfinished part of the dress. But she did take a chance and her client looked lovely in it.

Viktor is slowly becoming my favorite. I didn't think much of his designs in the beginning, or more accurately, I didn't think about them at all. And though I still don't know what his style actually is, I like what I've been seeing. I would want to wear it. Which likely means he's not high fashion enough. Consider that I, for example, would have told him to nix the necklace and keep the clutch. I am pedestrian that way. Of course, my reaction to the news that Piperlime was giving all the ladies free jewelry was "I would be psyched if it was a free purse. I can't imagine finding $500 worth of jewelry I'd want to wear." Somewhere out there is a man who is going to be very happy to meet me.

Why is she going there... in that?

Since I'm speed racing through the recaps, let me break this one down for you Microsoft Office style:

• unconventional challenge = trainwreck
• hamster bedding > wee wee pads
• birdseed glued on muslin = looks like beading, even if it really doesn't
• While I don't condone the latest craze of weaving feathers in your hair, if you must fasten feathers onto your person, that is a more appropriate vehicle for them than your eyebrows.
• Anthony Ryan is very talented but has a serious case of catty eye
• DO NOT BORE NINA or any of the other judges. This is mortal sin number one this season.