The finale that surprised no one

Anya wins!

Really, who didn't see that one coming? More than a few of you called it from the first voting episode. From a seasonal perspective, she certainly deserves it. She has vision and a point of view and talent up the ying yang. But from my view of the runway? Meh. Oh she pulled it around at the last minute, for sure. But don't tell me you weren't at least a smidge underwhelmed. She showed 5 versions of basically the same dress, albeit beautifully. I was glad someone finally pointed out those dresses can be worn by only a fraction of the population. But you and I and Nina realize that there is more to Anya than flowy caftans. And frankly, I didn't love anyone's collection. So go ahead and give her the $100,000 and lets see what happens.

There was something to hate and love from everyone, so let's get down to business.

Josh

I still don't get why the judges love him so damn much. I also don't believe for a second that he can maintain an edited version of his aesthetic without the judges or Tim Gunn putting the squeeze on him. And I'm sorry, he did not persuade me to wear plastic or neoprene. I still love his jacket and would probably carry it around Macy's with me for an hour, but ultimately, I would put it back. Why? Because it's neoprene. It will be hot and I will sweat and no amount of clinical strength deodorant is going to make me less uncomfortable or pleasant to sit within sniffing distance. On the plus side, it might make me slightly more likely to try surfing if I could accessorize my wet suit with a snappy jacket to camouflage some, shall we say, extra curves. I will leave it to our two resident outdoor clothing manufacturer fantasy leaguers to get on that with a reminder that I'm also available for paid consulting.

Surprisingly, I really liked the florescent green skirt, but the same colored shorts were horrid. Ew. I feel blessed to never have to see his clothes ever again ever.

Kim

As stated previously, though unnecessarily by anyone who's met me, I am not Kim's urban street girl demographic. Still, three of my favorite pieces were hers. I absolutely adored her ivory outfit, found her gown stunning and irrationally loved the teal lamé dress (irrational but not unprecedented. I have mentioned my past gold lamé bathroom, have I not?). The woman knows her way around the shiny fabrics. That's a fact. I also would like to take this moment to take away Josh's "Most Improved" declaration from Nina and give it to Kim. She had some funky tailoring going on last week and yet these same pieces fit and draped beautifully on the runway. Plus, I like taking things away from Josh and giving them to people who aren't jerks. Could she have been classier or more appreciative when given the boot? No.

The rest of Kim's collection just wasn't my bag and I believe she needs a bit more time to refine her designs. I also pretty much hated the heavy black wedge shoes she chose for all the models. Too clunky for my taste. But I enjoyed her looks much more than I dreamed I would and am glad they gave her a runway shot.

Viktor

Oh Viktor, you did pretty much what I expected you to do. I believe what we have here is a man who can make impeccably tailored clothes in classic silhouettes but is limited in vision. Whenever Viktor tries to push it, he goes off the rails. I don't think this makes him a bad designer, but it does restrict his potential. Personally, I hope he embraces what he's got and creates his own commercial line. There's no disgrace in becoming a designer for the masses. Banana Republic sure isn't breaking trends or going broke. And I want that first dress. Like, now.

Anya

Is it wrong that my favorite dress was the one she was wearing? The last minute addition of black and white prints surely saved her collection, but I wish she could have pulled herself together earlier. I loved the new direction she was exploring in the last two challenges and would have liked to see more - or at least some - of that in the finale. Disappointment aside, she is clearly the best designer and deserved the win.

So there you have it. Thanks for joining me for another Project Runway season. Carry on.

It makes me want to weep

This post's title may be lifted from Mr. Gunn's critique of Josh's fabric but it pretty well sums up my thoughts on this season. I'm feeling not a little bit fatigued from the amount of manipulation the producers have put us through. But this latest switcheroo was the last straw. Three designers go to Fashion Week. THREE. Yes, the decision may be hard and some rules are made to be broken and all that. But you don't mess with the very premise of the show. Unless the producers' goal was to incite anger in longtime viewers and lady bloggers, in which case, bravo and well done.

The one tradition they decided to uphold was the "Dear lord, none of the collections are that good" teaser episode. It's almost not worth critiquing the clothes because the collections always end up magically different by the finale. But I'll give it a quick whirl.

I was disappointed in Viktor's pieces. That is, until the judges literally deconstructed them. I hope he decides to zip down that leather skirt and use it. I loved it when it was in his studio. The jacket, however, was a little too baubly for me.

Josh amazed me with his ability to actually dial it back a bit, even if his garments didn't. I did like the jacket and didn't even mind the hot pink pants that accompanied it. Not so amazing? His jerk-ass jerkiness. But fun seeing orange skin runs in the family.

I don't really get Kim's appeal. I definitely don't share her aesthetic. But I also find her work to always look a little unfinished, or at the very least, unpolished. That said, I really liked her gown. She knows her way around a sparkle (Josh, take note).

Sadly, Anya was thoroughly disappointing. I still feel like she is the best designer, but she did not bring it. The color palette didn't help matters, nor did the shoes. But she's been known to pull it together gorgeously at the last minute, so I half expect a completely new collection by Fashion Week.

This is it darlings. Let's do this.

I'm not driving you no more Miss Daisy

Take a look at the photos from Lifetime's Rate the Runway page and note the expressions on every single model. That is how I feel about the designs this episode. Much like the Sami people have over a hundred words for snow, I am currently up to 83 words for how boringly tragic these outfits are. Actually, I've really only bothered to think of the words boringly tragic. But if I had the inclination and five minutes, I'm sure I could think of at least 68.

Good for Anya for pulling it together and creating one of the few designs I liked. The other highlight being Viktor's pants and t-shirt. Burt's was fine, though not exactly win-worthy if you ask me. Of course, impediment numero uno for either of the winning designs ending up in my Piperlime cart is my aversion to going bra-less in public. But more power to you youngsters.

Now that we're getting down to the wire, I am at a total loss as to who will be going to Bryant Park. My money is on Viktor and Anya. But the third designer - and fourth fake-out? - is a total mystery to me. I don't disagree with the decision to send Anthony Ryan home, but it could have easily been any one of them. At this point, the remaining designers are completely hit or miss. But if I have to see an entire runway show of Joshua's crazy pants, I am going to need medication.

Looking for something to do?

Here's something to consider on an October rainy day.

NORDIC FASHION BIENNALE
Friday, September 30 - Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Nordic Heritage Museum, Seattle and Nordic House, Reykjavik are proud to announce the 2011 Nordic Fashion Biennale taking place this fall at the Nordic Heritage Museum in Seattle, Washington. This will be the first time this event is being held in the United States. The Nordic Fashion Biennale was launched by the Nordic House, Reykjavik in 2009 in Reykjavik, Iceland, and included more than 60 designers, artists, musicians and speakers.

Click here for details.

"The Emperor's New Clothes" approach

Hey guys! Project Runway sure is intent on pushing their limits. So many firsts! First time designers have had to share models. First time a band has played on the runway stage. It should have also been the first time no one won a challenge. Good lord, this challenge was doomed from the start. Here's a hint, if the challenge involves a sponsor/partner, things aren't going to go well. If it involves two partners, we are headed toward Trouble City. If it involves two partners that includes winners of a separate contest, you might as well turn off the tv and pick up that book you've been meaning to read. Or leave the tv on while you re-organize your makeup drawer or make a list of all the things you would buy if you won the lottery ("He who is best prepared can best serve his moment of inspiration"- Samuel Taylor Coleridge). It's up to you. Just don't expect an episode that you're happy you sat through. Make sure you accomplished something during the hour.

There's really not much to say about the designs. They were all terrible. Terrible. But the producers counted on that and that is what upsets me the most.

Dear Project Runway producers,

There seems to be a misunderstanding between what you think your viewers want and reality. Let me clue you in. We want to see designers make clothes. We want the clothes to be good. I understand that most reality TV is successful thanks to a series of manufactured train wrecks. But like Tim Gunn, we want to see everyone do their best and judge the results based on each designer's ingenuity and skill. I find no satisfaction from asking people to dig their own grave. Please stop it.

No, really. Stop it.

Yours for not much longer,

anonymous internet lady blogger

I'm not even going to bother talking about the band. OK, maybe just for a second. Blech. Done.

From the get-go, I was feeling bad for whoever was going to be sent home for this challenge. But then Olivier had to be so rude and suddenly I didn't feel so bad anymore. Seriously, I cannot figure that kid out. Is it immaturity? Asperger's? Or just a blatant disregard for reality?

Good for my Viktor, once again tailoring a perfectly mediocre ensemble. Josh managed to bedazzle a hippie. We finally saw Anya is not perfect. And let's consider this, shall we: Bert is still here. Huh.

Those boobs to me are trouble

Poor Olivier. He can't stand it that a woman has the audacity to not only have breasts but has to go and speak too. Can the little fella catch a break? He just wants to live his life exploring every shade of beige at a very slow pace so he can design for 1% of the general population. The hapless elf is going to have a doozy of a time next week when he has to dress *gasp* a man.

I also find myself tiring of Laura Kathleen's designs. She is just good enough to get by - and yes, I understand her client wanted to look like a Barbie, but it still looked very Laura Kathleen. Which is to say, Laura Kathleen is very good at making Barbie clothes.

Bert has got to go soon. He may be limiting his passive aggressive selective short-term memory comments, but he won't step out of his game and his game already has a name. It's called Ann Taylor Loft. ZING!

As for Bryce, was there really any question that he would be next to go? I actually liked the pockets, or beer holders, if you will (thanks for the tip Michael Kors!). And the color worked really well on his client. But oh the fit. What exactly is the HTML emoticon for sighing and shaking your head in frustrated disbelief? Insert that here. You were a good sport, young sir. Best of luck to you in your self-imposed sketching exile.

On to the top designers...


Josh M, you lucky devil. Of all the designers this year, he is the only one to have won two challenges? His restraint was indeed remarkable and should be a great lesson in client relations and artistic editing. But I will bet you a Seattle tunnel no lesson has actually been learned. Girl would bedazzle a sequin dress given the opportunity. Don't get me wrong - his dress was beautiful. But I felt like his win was a reward more for what he didn't do than what he did.

That said, I didn't love Anya's dress. It was that waist detail that was particularly bothersome. I spent most of the episode trying to decide if it was a top with fringe hanging off of it or an unfinished part of the dress. But she did take a chance and her client looked lovely in it.

Viktor is slowly becoming my favorite. I didn't think much of his designs in the beginning, or more accurately, I didn't think about them at all. And though I still don't know what his style actually is, I like what I've been seeing. I would want to wear it. Which likely means he's not high fashion enough. Consider that I, for example, would have told him to nix the necklace and keep the clutch. I am pedestrian that way. Of course, my reaction to the news that Piperlime was giving all the ladies free jewelry was "I would be psyched if it was a free purse. I can't imagine finding $500 worth of jewelry I'd want to wear." Somewhere out there is a man who is going to be very happy to meet me.

I want to go to a Joan Crawford St. Paddy's Day Party

Well that was fun.

This has got to be one of my favorite PR episodes, if only to watch Nina say "No" plaintively and repeatedly to everyone, for everything. God I love her.

So let's get a few things out of the way. I don't believe either Becky or Anthony Ryan "stole" the fabric from one another. Only a self-destructive moron would purposely choose someone else's fabric in this competition and let's face it, Becky is not the designer I would bet on winning that gamble. But, this being my life of littered lottery tickets, I was wrong. Becky's was better.

Lesser issues needing to be addressed: Laura Kathleen's choice of Kelly green was horrid - and I'm someone who can actually pull off that color (FYI: In Style's Fall issue has declared emerald green to be a winner this season, though my eyes interpret their editorial as being decidedly Kelly green); and please, please, please let's lose the prominent zipper in the back thing. If it's still on the rack at Target, it is time to move on (as if you need an FYI for this one - Missoni is coming to Target September 13th!).

As for the worst, Cecilia was completely defeated and couldn't even manage to make an interestingly tailored dress, regardless of her fabric. I feel for her if she is that color blind, but you don't need perfect sight to feel a problematic fabric. Worse, her design was uninspired. She should have been booted. Not that Julie's design was worth saving. But at least it had vision, poorly executed as it was. Plus I was weirdly obsessed with (and confused by) Julie's short eyebrows.

Anya's jumpsuit was pretty great and I personally have no issue with Laura Kathleen helping her finish. It's still Anya's design and quick thinking that got her to the top 3. The appeal of Viktor's dress was lost on me but he deserved something for having to deal with Bert last week. The star of the show was clearly Kimberly's fancy shirt and smart looking pants. She somehow managed to make me want to wear a metallic gold shirt while also making me think I wouldn't look like a complete idiot doing it. The fit and asymmetrical elements were perfect. Well done.

In what is quickly become my weekly advice for Bert: put a ring on it. Or something. As Tim Gunn says - every week, mind you -use that Piperlime Accessories Wall. Geesh.

Coupling up so soon?

Wow, that was fast. First, they yank them out of bed and force them to make clothes out of their underpants, then they have to spin clothes out of dog food and now they're forced into an arranged design marriage? Sewer? I hardly know her! [sorry].

Actually, I was pretty amazed at the top 3. Anthony Ryan and Laura Kathleen are a two-name dream team. I could not see where Danielle and Cecilia were going at first, but the end result was amaze. Did you check out the back of the shirt? Love it. The styling killed them - so much so that I was kind of surprised they made it to the top. More surprising, though, was Becky and Kimberly's ability to pull it together. Becky is definitely the owner of some questionable design judgement but the proportions could not have been better. Seriously, if you are hung up on the one-sided collar, go back and watch their model walk onto the runway for the first time. It works. And if you still can't see why it matters, go back and watch Josh M and Julie's matadorian nightmare. Those legs freak.me.out.

As for the race to the bottom, I can see why Fallene had to go but Bryce had better appreciate his part in that Black Swan bad acid trip mess or he will be shown the door shortly. Oh, and Bert, check the bitter old queen act and welcome yourself to the current decade so we can be friends again.

Why is she going there... in that?

Since I'm speed racing through the recaps, let me break this one down for you Microsoft Office style:

• unconventional challenge = trainwreck
• hamster bedding > wee wee pads
• birdseed glued on muslin = looks like beading, even if it really doesn't
• While I don't condone the latest craze of weaving feathers in your hair, if you must fasten feathers onto your person, that is a more appropriate vehicle for them than your eyebrows.
• Anthony Ryan is very talented but has a serious case of catty eye
• DO NOT BORE NINA or any of the other judges. This is mortal sin number one this season.

Getting up to speed

It's been a shaky start to this season here at Don't Bore Nina HQ. A few [brilliantly timed] trips to the hottest parts of the country during the hottest weeks of the year happened to coincide with the return of our beloved fashion show and threw me off schedule. As it turns out, upon my return I further discovered that I'm more apt to accept an invitation for margaritas on the patio over streaming Lifetime television shows, and for that, I half-heartedly apologize. But now that I'm caught up, let's try a quick recap, shall we?

The excitement begins in our season opener with the First-time-ever-we've-invited-50-people-on-the show-but-only-20-will-survive episode! I was expecting a bloodbath and got nary a splatter. There wasn't enough time to care who didn't make it to the actual show, regardless of their attempts at manipulation via a postponed Icelandic wedding. Girl was getting married either way. In Iceland.

Still, there were some curious choices for who made it as evidenced by Rafael's brief stay with us. Three-quarters of the way into the show I started getting this nagging feeling that things are a little off this year. My first clue should have been the inclusion of Michael and Nina in the opening credits/scene. Don't pander, Nina. It's so beneath you. But there also seems to be some new backroom agreement regarding judging this season where boring trumps poor tailoring or just plain ugly. It becomes more apparent in Episode 3 and Rafael just happened to hit the trifecta with his design in the opener, but tell me I'm wrong about this. Does the judging not seem a little strange?

Well, hello darlings

It's been too long, my friends. Adventures have been had, unions have been formed, buns have left some ovens and a few of us went on some crappy dates. But all is about to be right with the world again because our Project Runway pals are back Thursday, July 28th at 9pm (can I dare to dream that Lifetime has used this time to upgrade their streaming capabilities?).

Take a looksie here and get to know what's in store. Apparently there are twenty designers this year which I can only hope results in a spectacular bloodbath the first episode.

For those of you in the Fantasy League, the scoring remains the same as last year. You can click here to review the rules. Remember, the first episode is for us to get to know the designers. We'll start choosing our top 3 the following week.

Que les jeux commencent!