"SethAaronEmilioSosa"

I'm with you Tim. I STILL don't see "E. Sosa" on that print but I was admittedly blinded by his ego. Yowza. That man does not suffer from insecurity. I will hand it to Emilio, the print wasn't bad from far away but I personally have never been fond of designer-logo'd clothing. Never owned a Vuitton bag and never will. Not even the cute Murakami one (much love Takashi!). However, the juxtaposition of eras and style did work, even if it was a little on the plain side, and I would have chosen Seth Aaron for the win. Again.

In other repetitive scenes, Maya played the bridesmaid once again. I would feel bad for her but you know, she hasn't done anything win-worthy. Her designs can be interesting, but not generally desirable to actually wear.

Jonathan's disco straight jacket was a pretty spectacular fail but was his print really so bad? I thought it was pretty but maybe I am in the middle of a bad bought of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm here for you buddy. Bring those pale teardrop mud stains to mama.

SAD or not, I can tell you Mila's design made me MAD. Poor dress design, poor textile design, poor stiff fabric. Consider that mess the next time you call one of your colleague's taste into judgement.

As for Anthony, you will be missed. I humbly offer my apologies for predicting such a short lifespan on this show for you and am grateful for the laughs and good sportsmanship you brought.

Why so drab, people?

Let's just get this out of the way. Jonathan won because the French love romance and he has yet to win a challenge. Not that I didn't like his design. I did. I thought it captured his element wonderfully, showed real innovation with the fabric and as Jonathan said, "pale gets pale" (and I, sir, am pale). But it also felt incomplete. Or maybe just too short. Seth Aaron's design should have won. The end.

The four elements was an interesting challenge. It gave everyone enough creative room to really show their perspective or, in many cases, cave to the pressure. Ben's jock strap pant deserved to go, but I wouldn't have cried if Amy went home either. A hairy boob does not a lady make. And why so glum everyone? Apparently they all decided to dress a funeral for our Mother Earth. Even Maya's pretty water concept was more Detroit River than blue lagoon. Though Lord help me, I actually liked Mila's pedestrian mall outfit, sucker as I am for asymmetrical design. Not as much as I loved Michael and Nina recognizing that she is lost without a crisp black and white block, however.

Other random highlights:

Tim Gunn announcing that Anthony is on fire.

Anthony pointing out that Amy's model needs a Nair affair up there.

Losing count of the times a look was declared weird or odd.

French judge defending his opinion with the statement, "But hey, I'm French".

"Jock strap pant detail". I just like saying it. Try it!

This post brought to you by Garnier Fructis Style Flexible Control Anti-Humidity Hairspray, which must always (ALWAYS) be referred to in its entirety.

MacGuyver would have trouble with this challenge

This was one of those love/hate episodes. On the one hand, if you can rise to the challenge, you are sure to elevate yourself far above the competition. On the other hand, asking people to stretch their creativity with mediums that are not only completely foreign to them but may actually require some level of materials science education to use, isn't even a train wreck worth watching. Case: Emilio. WTF? Nice save on the "everyone else was making dresses and I wanted to be different" excuse, regardless of its truthiness. But while the bathing suit was wildly hoochie, the greater sin was it was just plain ugly. And if he had more money, it would have been an ugly dress. Though it did make me wonder if they still make silly string.

All of the designs had that 1st-year art school vibe to them. And believe me, as someone who had no business taking sculpture classes but enrolled in three, the end results were all too predictable. Jesse's was very tin-man but not worse than Emilio's. Even Maya's design, while laudable, was only impressive because it fit. I'll give her the necklace, but considering 90% of jewelry is inherently hard ware, it was really more of a savvy choice of accessory to make than amazing display of talent. I'm not even going to go into Color-Block's design. I would have picked Jonathan's instead, though I was distracted by Oscar gossip on the internet while Mila's design went down the runway and didn't notice the fantastic flow of her blocks of white and black plastic. Was it as bedazzling as guest judge Stephen Webster thought? Also missed, why were there four judges this episode?

Jay Nicholas unmistakably owned this runway. It was a dicey start but he perfectly executed his vision. Kudos to you, sir.

Allison, are you ready for the circus?

Kids say the darndest things. I actually liked this episode much more than I thought I would. And oh the surprises! Jonathan threw a roll of toilet paper down the runway, Emilio tried to bore me to death, Mila busted out her one trick and Amy got... creative? The clown pants were shocking, no doubt, especially coming from her. But I can't bring myself to say anything bad about them because 1. she took a risk and 2. she handled herself impressively on the runway. No excuses, acknowledged the risk and poor decisions while standing firm on the choices she still believed in. Plus, take away the black and make it a skirt, and hey! it's actually not bad.

What wasn't so shocking? Bad ass Seth Aaron making two bad ass outfits (outfits?! Is that even a real fashion term? What is this, Garanimals?). Seriously, Seth Aaron brought.it. That jacket was amazing. And good on Michael Kors for giving him the props for tailoring. Good tailoring that made Jesse's well intentioned but horribly executed designs look all the more sad. Do they not teach basic construction in fashion school anymore? Is it like art school and all you have to do is declare it fashion to succeed. That and constantly tell your professors how genius they are. But I digress...

I did actually like Jesse's design and Jay Nicholas' was pretty chic, though honestly also a little boring to me. And not fair that his child model appeared a good 4 years older than some of the others. But maybe she's an early bloomer. You looked beautiful kid!

Janeane is finally gone. Girl is lucky she lasted this long. She seems nice and I may even buy a dress from her in Portland one day but high fashion, she is not.

Checklist of everything that's tacky

Poor Jesus. Some people are meant for the runway and some people are meant, well, for other stages. I think he could have a real career designing for some of the Real Housewives, but Fashion Week? Not so much.

Overall, there wasn't one dress that I'd call good. To their credit, it was a horrid challenge. Their intentions were noble, but making these women, whom they were supposedly honoring, a walking billboard for soup was downright shameful. Adding insult to injury, only giving the designers one day to design for non-model bodies was unnecessarily cruel to the guest models. So in the poor design/good fit category, props to Anthony, Seth Aaron, Jay Nicholas and Mila.

Was it just me, or did it feel like the judges were reaching for a top three. When you reward creativity in theory over actual fit, there's a problem. And yes, I'm looking at you Maya. You made the poor woman's boobs look weird and that's not something that should be overlooked. The best I can say for Amy's dress is it was nice enough. If Jesse had chosen better fabric, I think he would have been top 3 instead of bottom. All things as they are, if Amy's dress was considered a winner, then Emilio should have been in the top.

I'm heading over to facebook now to start a "Boycott Campbell's because they degrade women and insult fashion". One million strong!

A little help here?

You may not know it by looking at me, but I know a thing or two about fashion. Vintage fashion, classic chic fashion, fashion-forward fashion - you name it. OK, I'm not so into the retro 80's look, but that's because I lived through it and I hated it then so I'm really not inclined to live through it again. This is no breakup I'm talking about. No amount of space and time is going to soften my heart. I will not be "just friends" with pegged jeans and neon. But I digress.

What has me questioning myself and shaking the foundation of my very core? How thoughtful of you to ask. It's Mila's jacket. I don't get it. I don't hate it. But I don't see what the judges were all excited about. Sure, it was wonderfully constructed (it ought to be, poor Jonathon). But I don't get it. Someone please explain it to me. Seriously. But don't say it's because I'm old because I'm younger than Nina. Thank you.

I guess it should go without saying that I preferred Jay Nicholas and Maya's, though I did not prefer Jay Nicholas' attitude regarding his immunity. I think Maya's dress (I mean, for reals, let's be clear) would have been absolutely stunning with more time. But the total smack down their $50 look gave Janeane and Ben's $500 design had to hurt. You know Janeane was accumulating crying points for us behind that runway screen.

As for the losers, well, there's not a lot to say. Ping deserved to go. Jesse deserved to be the jerk he was for having to deal with Ping. And Anthony and Seth Aaron's designs deserved second-to-last place. But though their dresses were a mess, those two proved to be a class act, both on and off the runway. Team work and taking responsibility for your poor choices? Well done, sirs.

Is there a breeze in here?

Whoa! Ping, you are officially on my list. I was willing to go with your cuckoo designs as an honest expression of your aesthetic. But being a little cuckoo is no excuse for stupidity. You need to use the fit model the good lord (or Tim Gunn) gave you. Because the only place you could sell that booty-bearing dress is Las Vegas on Halloween (the sexiest day of the year, yo). But what has set me off, is your sudden inability to understand the English language. Really, you didn't understand the challenge? What a crock. Michael Kors isn't having any of it and neither am I. Lady, I am watching you...

I thought the challenge itself was pretty brilliant and one of my favorite ones yet. It was clever and allowed some real creativity. Pamela's losing dress was pretty horribly executed but at least she had good intentions. Personally, I would have given Jesus the heave-ho for arrogantly disregarding Tim's advice two weeks in a row. Foolish mortals, when will they learn.

As for the top three, the judges could have picked any one of them and I wouldn't have argued. At the time, I preferred Mila's dress but now that it's been a few days, I agree Jay Nicolas' ability to spin potato sack into a luxurious, feathery dream is pretty amazing.

While neither made top 3, Seth Aaron and Emilio are quickly become my favorites.

See all the dresses on the Lifetime Project Runway site.