Checklist of everything that's tacky

Poor Jesus. Some people are meant for the runway and some people are meant, well, for other stages. I think he could have a real career designing for some of the Real Housewives, but Fashion Week? Not so much.

Overall, there wasn't one dress that I'd call good. To their credit, it was a horrid challenge. Their intentions were noble, but making these women, whom they were supposedly honoring, a walking billboard for soup was downright shameful. Adding insult to injury, only giving the designers one day to design for non-model bodies was unnecessarily cruel to the guest models. So in the poor design/good fit category, props to Anthony, Seth Aaron, Jay Nicholas and Mila.

Was it just me, or did it feel like the judges were reaching for a top three. When you reward creativity in theory over actual fit, there's a problem. And yes, I'm looking at you Maya. You made the poor woman's boobs look weird and that's not something that should be overlooked. The best I can say for Amy's dress is it was nice enough. If Jesse had chosen better fabric, I think he would have been top 3 instead of bottom. All things as they are, if Amy's dress was considered a winner, then Emilio should have been in the top.

I'm heading over to facebook now to start a "Boycott Campbell's because they degrade women and insult fashion". One million strong!

A little help here?

You may not know it by looking at me, but I know a thing or two about fashion. Vintage fashion, classic chic fashion, fashion-forward fashion - you name it. OK, I'm not so into the retro 80's look, but that's because I lived through it and I hated it then so I'm really not inclined to live through it again. This is no breakup I'm talking about. No amount of space and time is going to soften my heart. I will not be "just friends" with pegged jeans and neon. But I digress.

What has me questioning myself and shaking the foundation of my very core? How thoughtful of you to ask. It's Mila's jacket. I don't get it. I don't hate it. But I don't see what the judges were all excited about. Sure, it was wonderfully constructed (it ought to be, poor Jonathon). But I don't get it. Someone please explain it to me. Seriously. But don't say it's because I'm old because I'm younger than Nina. Thank you.

I guess it should go without saying that I preferred Jay Nicholas and Maya's, though I did not prefer Jay Nicholas' attitude regarding his immunity. I think Maya's dress (I mean, for reals, let's be clear) would have been absolutely stunning with more time. But the total smack down their $50 look gave Janeane and Ben's $500 design had to hurt. You know Janeane was accumulating crying points for us behind that runway screen.

As for the losers, well, there's not a lot to say. Ping deserved to go. Jesse deserved to be the jerk he was for having to deal with Ping. And Anthony and Seth Aaron's designs deserved second-to-last place. But though their dresses were a mess, those two proved to be a class act, both on and off the runway. Team work and taking responsibility for your poor choices? Well done, sirs.